Here’s an ancient secret I’m about to let you in on. It can help explain the unexplained, and if used properly will bring you all the success you are looking for.
What goes around comes around.
That’s right. Karma! Such a simple concept however some idiots still don’t appreciate or understand that Karma does, infact, exist. Especially when it comes to money.
There are so many of you little pecker-heads who want to get paid to be lazy. Who steal from the hand that feeds you. You really think you’ve got one up on the world by stealing $50 bucks from Jamrock? Whether its time or office supplies, stealing is stealing. And Karma is a bitch.
So before you go away to your dilapidated excuse for a holiday celebration and you max out your credit cards buying jewelry for your new medium-fat girlfriend. Just remember, the only way to make money is to give some away. And if you’ve stolen from anyone in the past you’re in a karma hole.
Maybe it’s a good idea to payback some of your spent Karma this year. Set the scale even and start making something out of yourself, for fuck’s sake.
You do it for me. I listen to your music on repeat constantly. You inspire me. I only need the sound of your voice and your melodies (and my money, of course) and I’d be a happy man.
When I listen to “No One”, I almost feel as if you’re all I need. As if I could survive with nothing but your songs.
As long as I have your music (and my money) there is nothing I can’t accomplish.
I am a strong man, but you destroy all of my defenses.
I will give you everything I have to give (well, at least half). Will you take my hand in marriage?
This is an open proposal, take your time, accept when you are ready. I will wait for you.
First of all, this is obviously some idiot trying to get press. I have several friends in the scientific and medical communities. Any time there is some new cure for this or some amazing breakthrough, reported all over the news I ask them about it.
Guess what they say?
The answer is always the same. It’s all about half true. And, almost always, involves someone trying to get recognition or funding for more research.
They create exaggerated brazen stories and the press eats it up. And we all know who eats up the press: you idiots.
So, the story is the same with this douche-bag and the pandas.
Here’s the reality of the animal extinction issue:
We already have the technology to clone things. So who cares? In a few more years we can make all the pandas, and gorillas, and dodo birds that we want. So quit bitching,
It sounds like extinction is going extinct, if you ask me. Why worry? Focus on something positive — like money or autumn.
I love the fall. I can finally drive the 911 again.
(For those less fortunate who don’t understand, the pre-1996 Porsche 911 is air cooled. Thus the AC really sucks and driving the bitch in the summer can make her temperamental.)
Life is good and I keep getting wealthier. It’s as if I can’t lose. It’s as if I designed it that way.
Oh wait, I did.
How is life in Loserville? Please leave your comments below.
Elitist became a bad word all of a sudden? When did this happen? Since when is it wrong to recognize fact?
Facts:
I am smarter than 99% of you.
I am more organized and disciplined that 99% of you
I am better looking than 99% of you
I am a better public speaker than 99% of you
I am a better leader.
Now, does recognizing these facts and rising to my God-given role of Supreme Master of Most make me me an elitist?
And why is this a bad thing?
What else am I supposed to do? Ignore God? Am I supposed to sit on my fat ass like you: surfing the internet web, reading ridiculous blogs and stuffing my saliva pit with mono-sodium glutamate infused snacks manufactured especially for fat poor people?
Should I play the lottery, you fool?
Keep sitting there, Dumpy. In the time it took you to read this I accomplished more than you ever will (in your whole life).
Sometimes I like to think that when people become uber succesful, at whatever it is that they do, sometimes I like to think this is indcation that they are exceptional people.
ergo, not idiots
Think it takes brains to be successful? Think again.
After watching Kanye West act like an ass clown in front of a huge television audience, I have to admit I felt a little better about myself (only because I love to watch big guys fall down).
Life is just like high school: nothing is the way it seems and idiots are everywhere.
Over the last year or so, yours truly has become very involved in and excited with new media. In other words, Paul Jamrock owns blogs. He owns hundreds of blogs to be more exact.
I know what your thinking. Paul how the hell do you find time to date supermodels, run an empire and write 300 different blogs?!?
The truth is, this is the only blog Big PJ writes. All the rest are taken care of. I hired a few bright individuals over at WeWriteBlogs.com to start helping with my sites. They’ve done a fantastic job so far and to be honest the labor is so cheap its laughable.
College educated people writing brilliant blog posts for peanuts.
I haven’t noticed. To be honest, the only thing thats changed for me in the last 6 months is labor costs.
I can now hire a smarter putz to do the exact same job for half the price. Why? Because he just lost his job at Circuit City and needs to feed his 3 bastard children and their mothers.
Don’t hate me for speaking the truth, and don’t blame anyone for your dilapidated financial situation. The only blame is on you and you alone.
People like me make more money in a down market. While everyone else is crying about losing their 401k and scrambling to sell before they lose it all, Paul Jamrock is on the other end buying up your retirement at half price.
If you need a job, call me. We have plenty of work available for the right slugs. Put down that dollar menu cheeseburger, stop crying and do something today to change your position in the world.
By now I’m sure you’ve noticed. I enjoy the sound of my name. I enjoy looking at how it reads on a computer screen. I enjoy the fact that its written at least 3 times on YOUR computer screen right now.
I cannot tell a lie. My name is everything to me.
It’s my brand, my reputation, my succcess. I want to put it in front of your eyes and ears every chance I get.
Paul Jamrock.
YES! There’s another one.
I know what you’re thinking: “You’re good paul, you’re real good!”
